By Introduction
The “3 Loves Theory” is actually an idea about love. It goes further to explain that a person will undergo three types of love in life time. These three loves occur at different seasons in one’s life. They also give different lessons. A view of this psychology theory is plausible and familiar to a certain extent. Many people use it to make sense of the nature of their hookup patterns.
This theory cannot regard the theory based on exact science or having something to do with it. And contrary to professional jargon, it derives from personal observations. I find many people indeed take the time to think and confirm it. It depicts the growth of a love affair. It also shows why not every relationship is the same. Before we proceed to defining the three types of love let’s take a look at each of them separately.
3 Loves Theory – The First Love: Innocent and Idealistic
3 Loves Theory : People admit the first type of love when they are still young. It is a lot of the time very magical and pure. It usually occurs during the teenage period. This love is childish and very lively. It is the kind of love, where people get up in the morning, look at each other, smile and go through their day together.
In this stage people expect that love is perfect. They assume it is permanent. It will be forever. All is smooth and happy. They do not know the challenges of the unions. For this reason the first love appears to be perfect.
Furthermore, the image of the beloved often fades fast. It gives people the first impressions about heartbreaks. So in a love story it proves that love is not always happy. It is common to know many people who feel lost and depressed soon after the break up of their first relationship.
This means the love which is significant is liberating; that breaks the barriers of the physical self and makes a place for letting in love. It assists people to gain an insight in emotion too. And without this kind of love in your life you might never know what it is like to be able to care for someone so much. For this reason, the first love remains in our memory for eternity.
3 Loves Theory – The Second Love: Challenging and Intense
The second love is a very different emotion from the first one. It ‘s far more profound and passionate. This love experienced mostly in the ages of young adulthood. It is also called the “hard love.”
In this stage people develop affection towards one another and they attract one another. Yet, this love comes with lots of problems. It can include quarrels, disagreements or melodrama. One’s husband or wife is always on the defensive receiving most complaints and haven’t time to relax or chill.
The second love shows us about compromise. It also depicts or gives us an insight into real life relationships. This love builds people up emotionally. It enables them to define what they really wish for in a partner.
But often this is a one-sided love. There is always one in the partnership who is more affectionate than the other. This leads to pain and disappointment. This love also registers mistakes being made by people. It has mentioned that these mistakes assist them to become some people.
It is sad but the second love usually comes to a bitter end. But it provides individuals with the ability to get over and past the situation. It also helps in instilling self- respect and self love into the society.
3 Loves Theory – The Third Love: Calm and Fulfilling
The third form of love is the least violent love. Sometimes it is referred to as “true love.” This love is the one that happens to the ones you least expect it. But it is not merely accomplished, it’s done as a part of habit and it is not all that difficult.
In this stage, people don’t run after love. They are aware of best practices because they have learnt from areas of weakness that existed in the past. This makes them select their partner carefully. The third love is a secure and stable kind of love.
Consequently it has no drama unlike the first two loves. Here both partners know and appreciate each other. As the time and effort invested, so does this type of love increase.
The third love is commonly the love with a close friend. It’s based on the principle of candor, and there is integrity between the two parties. This love is long-lasting, sometimes eternal. A majority go for the third time round, usually settling down with their third partner.
This stage demonstrates that love is about being in partnership. It is not about the ideal or imaginary.
Why the Three Loves Are Important
All those kinds of love have their part in life. The first love is for learning only everything that is innocent and happiness. The second love changes and heals. Most of the time, the third love consists of the lessons such as peace and comradeship.
These three loves define our concepts of relationship. They also assist us in identifying our wants and requirements. The search for true love might be somewhat more difficult without these particular kinds of experiences.
This theory is not a guarantee that people will always tread in a similar sequence. Some may have less or more love in their lifetime. Others may reduce a stage: Yet they are relevant across continents shown below.
Reflections on 3 Loves Theory
That is why lessons involved in the “3 Loves Theory” are still meaningful. Here are some key takeaways:
- Love is not always perfect. Each love has its trials and tribulations. Something that needs to embraced is that nothing is perfect.
- Heartbreak is a teacher. Suffering is not only for suffering’s sake but it is on the way to redeeming us from our sins. They help prepare for future relationships.
- True love is not rushed. The third loves to show that one has to patiently wait for the right time for the relationship to grow. Good things take time.
- Self-love matters. Self-loving is not less than loving.
- Loving yourself is as essential as loving other people. Without it, relationships may fail.
People change with time. When two people are in love they tend to learn and evolve as a couple as they age. This is why for instance the acquisition stage doesn’t feel like the value creation stage, not that one is superior to the other.
But does everyone pass through the three loves anyway?
Still, it is not necessary for a person to go through all the three kinds of love detailed here. For some, it is easy to find the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Some may spend much time in one of the stages. Well, that is the key point, people’s life is not the same and does not follow the same rhythm.
Culture also defines it, as well as individual traits of a specific gender, age, or occupation.In others people allowed to engage in relations.
The “3 Loves Theory” is not a rule at all. It is just something to think over and look into. It assists people to have a feel for their love life.
Criticism of the Theory
There are some people who do not approve of this theory. Sometimes people argue that love is not divided into stages, as people like to do, but it is a whole concept. People and their relationships are intricate and specific.
Some people say that it is too rudimentary.) They said that love has factors and those factors may include personality and time.
However, this theory is still with us because people can make sense of it. It gives the people something to look forward to and it eliminates confusion. While many have disagreed with elements of it or its presentation. Moreover, everyone concedes that it provokes discussions worth having.
Conclusion: A Journey Worth Exploring
The “3 Loves Theory” seems to be a very interesting theory. It breaks it all down and gives justification on how love has evolved over time. It gives us an illustration of how the different types of love play a role in our life.
This theory brings back the idea to mind that love is a process. It is not a simple or rare task of looking for the perfect one to spend the rest of your life with. It also has to do with education, which emphasizes gaining knowledge on the side.
Whether the position you are in is a beginner or an expert, we must let the learner never forget the lessons. Every level makes you learn something new and makes you more capable. And, after all, love indeed is a relationship and joy.